Griffith refuses to give up: Senior juggles being a mother, honor student and softball player
By Misty Martin
Tuesday September 25, 2007 1:09:11pm


RINGGOLD, Ga. -- Ringgold High School senior Jessie Griffith’s baby book for her son will more than likely have a few clippings of herself.

Jessie is a new mother, an honor student and a four-year-softball player with the Lady Tigers. She recently put back on her Blue-and-White Ringgold uniform seven weeks after giving birth to Connor Patton Sparks.

The 17-year-old pitcher said making the decision to come back was about the love of the game, her teammates and finishing something she started three years ago at Ringgold.

“You kind of have to play the cards you are dealt with in life,” she said. “Just because something happens doesn’t mean you have to change everything.”

Jessie, who has a 3.9 GPA, said she was released from her doctor on Monday, Sept. 10. That same day she came to practice to talk to Ringgold Coach Vince Phillips about being a part of the team again.

“There had been some talk about me picking up and playing 18-under ball during the summer,” she said. “But, I never thought I would be able to come back in school ball.”

The following day after being released she loaded the bus to Ridgeland and dressed out for her first game against Lakeview-Fort Oglethorpe on Thursday, Sept. 13.

On Friday at the Brookwood tournament, Jessie was back in full swing. She made her first appearance in the circle where she struck out five batters and allowed two hits in Ringgold's 8-3 victory over Pike County.

Phillips said he couldn't be more proud of Jessie, who he said has been welcomed with opened arms by her teammates.

“She is an exceptional young lady,” Phillips said. “I’ve told her from the start we just want her on the field… she’s a Lady Tiger for life.”

Jessie’s mother, Cathy Griffith, said she told her daughter she would support her in any decision she chose to make because she knew her daughter was a mother first.

She also thought by her coming back to play it would set a positive example for other female athletes who have been or may be in a similar situation one day.

“I’ve really just had to step back,” Cathy said. “Jesse has become a dedicated and confident mother.”

Even with the help of her mother and Connor’s extended family, Jessie said life’s lessons have been tough. Changing diapers every day is a lot different from practicing her change-up.

But Jessie and her son are getting into their own routines.

“It’s hectic sometimes,” she said. “It’s kind of like a Chinese fire drill trying to get everyone ready in the mornings. But as long as I don’t waste my time I can get everything done.”


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maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/12/2007 02:55:53 PM
Mia, thank you, as always keeping you in my prayers.
 
mia
Comments: 234
Joined: 05/22/2007
10/12/2007 11:20:19 AM
Moderator, We appreciate you keeping this for open discussion without getting personal. As for Maggie, we have had a silent prayer bond between the two of us for a while. She never told me details, I never told her. We just knew God knew about it and that was good enough. I would like to say to the ones trying to tarnish her name, "I truely am sorry for all the hurt you feel you are suffering. Sorry that you can't get past it all. But like it has been said, know one knew anyone personal on this until you offered that information. Just because we are committed to prayer and SEEM to act self righteous, does not mean that we are, everyone is human and unfortunately, when writing these things down others can't see our faces , faces that are full of hurt and pain. This leads to responding "as someone said earlier" in the flesh. Maggie don't slam people and as far as I am concerned you have only helped others to see that she does , "try". It does seem to be a really bad issue between all of you that only God can help. He will if you will turn it over to him if you haven't. I have to tell my self daily to not make things out to be negative about people, if you disagree, fine, don't hold on to it.If it is not family, chose not to be around them, if it is, try and find a way to work it out. There are couples that are married that don't like their childrens grandparents for whatever reason. This is not new. But, for the childrens sake you don't pick at their faults, if the love your children, be proud they have grandparents that love them. There are too many (myself incuded), people that allow themselves to let their hurt become "toxic" to them and those around them. Maybe all concerned can find something postive about each other and go forward with those feelings, leave the hurt and anger behind. I know, sounds easy, but take it from someone that has been there, "it is a much better life letting it go , then to hang on to it. Maggie , I can't imagine not seeing my grandkids, and pray that this will change for you. To the others that posted hurtful things, I pray for you as well and hope you can find peace and give those children a healthy, happy life and letting those that love them be part of it. It is a wonderful gift to children to surround them by people that love them. God forbid if something happened to you, they would have others to lean on. Just think about it. OK? Praying for you.
Mia
 
moderator
Comments: 11
Joined: 01/01/2006
10/12/2007 09:46:09 AM
This is not a blog for discussing personal issues between users so don't use it as such. If we seen any more posts in that vein they will be removed and all accounts involved will be suspended until further notice.

 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/12/2007 07:22:35 AM
Msla, my heart just goes out to you and all that you deal with. Blueskies is right, I don't know that many on here would be as fair as you try so hard to be. You are truly walking with God in this situation. I do however disagree with one thing you said. Yes, as humans we do act on our emotions, but it is satan who keys in on the emotions and tells us, to lash back at those who hurt us. He especially likes to go after those who try so hard to walk on the right path. Just as God speaks to us in many ways, so does satan. When we are hurting or we are at a very low point emotionally, that is when he takes his opportunity to tells us we are justified to hurt back. I know I have done that, many times I have spoke first, thought later!!!! Exactly what the Bible warns us not to do, but thats what we humans do and that is why we are saved by grace, cause we couldn't do it by ourselves. Believe me, I have had to draw on my faith to not retaliate to the posts directed at me. It hasn't been easy.
 
blueskies
Comments: 2
Joined: 10/10/2007
10/12/2007 03:58:59 AM
While I'm enjoying my french vanilla coffee, I thought I would see what the friendly folks were saying.

Well, I'm not disappointed, but then, I am disappointed.

msla, we will never know why we go through what we do here on earth. It is just the path God leads us in and how we walk that path. To me, you are an example. You are doing your best. And doing it better or rather "fairer" than I probably would. Not so sure I would associate with those that hated me. But you are doing the right thing in taking those girls to see their other side of the family. To deny a child to know their parent, grandparent or maybe even siblings would be such a shame. The Emotional scars run deep and are hidden. No telling how your girls might turn out if you were selfish and not share them. Girls have this thing about knowing their dads. And not getting to know them is how many end up working the streets, looking for that father figure to please and be loved by. Not my opinion, there are studies out stating such.

This man and woman that are attacking this maggie person don't seem to have the kids best interest at heart. If I read it correctly this man doesn't let his kids see their grandparents either much less his wifes kids see their dad and grandparents. Does anybody other than me see a problem with this? Seems this man wants to isolate his "now" family from an extended family. Does anybody else see the red flags here? This reeks of abuse. How do the kids feel about this? Are they allowed to speak honestly or are they afraid of this man and woman? I don't know but the way this man and his wife jumped on maggie seems a bit over the line. Good thing in the state of Georgia, kids at the age of 14 and decide which parent or for that matter grandparent they want to live with. Don't know how old these kids are but maybe they will be making that decision in the near future. I will pray that their lives are not scarred from parents that are so selfish.

maggie hang in there. If you had any kind of life with these kids before then they will remember you.

msla, if I just knew you, I would give you a great big hug. So I'm sending one through this blog. I'm new here, is that okay without getting deleted? Sorry if I offend.
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/12/2007 01:39:21 AM
Blueskies, I just realized what you said to me and I thank you. But, like all this with Maggie, only my words and my views get out here. I'm on my knees at the church altar a lot. And I pray at length almost every afternoon. I can't stand the idea that this is how "it all turned out for my children and me." I know this sounds so selfish. It just seems like my life wouldn't have ended like this.... me raising my child's girls.... in turmoil.... desperately praying for the right way to act, or choose for these girls and their mother.... so strange. And when my daughter and I are arguing, I put up a front of iron because I don't know what else to do. But after she's gone and the girls are in bed, I'm praying and crying because I know it's a God-thing.... way out of my league. And when I'm sure my emotions are controlled by God's cocoon, I re-enter the reality. But I can't do this without God.

I also have to deal with the 'other family' - the father's family. My daughter hated that I took the girls to see them. Back in the beginning, she still had the girls. To punish me, she banned me from seeing the girls. But as she slid more into meth, they ended up with me soon after that. But I 'paid' for crossing that line. The oldest grandgirl knew and loved her 'Nan' so much. She used to beg me to take her. So one day, I took her to Nan's work and they had lunch together. Meanwhile, Nan was scared of me because I was the 'mother' of the victim who she just 'knew had lied and sent her son up to the big house.' So God had to pick me up and carry me through this family full of hate, my daughter full of hate, everybody hating everybody, but all of them focusing their hate on me because I was the easy target making myself vulnerable. (This is one of those situations when people will say the devil was at work but I don't say that. This is when I think we humans mess things up full of our own hate and won't let God work in us.) And so many folks in my own family always.... still.... always telling me what I do wrong. My immediate family doesn't live around here at all except my daughter so that's good in this case. The long distance criticism is enough for me.

So I still pay for these nutty collect phone calls from their father from prison almost every single month and I always wonder why. But I know I'm accountable to God and these girls. One day, they would want to know why I didn't let them talk to him if I didn't accept them. And if it were my own, I'd facilitate them. So, I can't tell them I didn't have the money as some sort of excuse when God is telling me to be fair. And study after study tells us that no matter what, kids just want to know their parents no matter who they are. For girls, they want to know who their daddys are. So.... I keep letting him call.... and he's never paid child support except for a couple of weeks to my daughter before his prison time. And I try to figure out how to get along with this whole other family when none of us have anything in common and we certainly have no trust level even after these years have gone by.... Throughout the years, I have my daughter sliding in and out of the meth culture tearing us up.... She's supposed to pay support but won't hold a job long enough to pay her fines much less pay support. The girls pray and pray for their parents. I wish it'd make a difference to their parents but I doubt that it does. My daughter has heard them pray a lot of times and the girls tell their father they are praying for him. Sigh....

I don't go preaching very much. But God is so real for me I can't imagine being proactive if it weren't for Him. I might get through this. But I doubt I'd try to resolve things, forgive anyone, put up with the constant and endless pressures from the different personalities, or have the hope I have. People like to be hurtful. It's God that gets me past all that.

 
bygracethrufaith
Comments: 1272
Joined: 07/13/2007
10/12/2007 12:05:04 AM
Hey, how about this... since these people have apparently nothing better to do than to come on here for the sole purpose of harrassment, why not just ignore them? Maybe they'll get the hint and go away! LOL!

Seriously though, msla, I'm definately with you on this one. Who are these people to think that our worlds revolve around them and they MUST come one here in defense of an imaginary cyberattack against them in order to preserve their imaginary cyberhonor, so that all of us here on this blog will no longer think so cyberbadly of them?

Hey, wbhatc, we don't know you....get over it, get saved, find some peace (by the way- you won't accomplish any of those by searching out others comments to see if there are any for you to get angry at.) Perhaps if you could fill that empty space inside of you with something meaningful, you wouldn't feel the need to become so vindictive toward others. -Regardless of what you feel that another has done to you, nothing justifies doing what you have done here. I will pose the same question to you as Rome. Exactly WHAT has this done to help your children? What has it even done to help you? It didn't accomplish much of anything, except MAYBE help you see your error in coming here for the sole purpose of HURTING someone. You can't defend your honor to us....we don't know you, so how do we even know you have any honor to defend???
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/11/2007 10:47:22 PM
Wbhatc, Nobody here would even know the comments were specifically about you if you and your wife hadn't decided to tell us. So why were you insulted from any comments here? No one knew you. No one talked with you. No one had a clue about you. No one posted your information. No one posted what they thought you would say in some sort of fake scenario against what Maggie would post. You simply make no sense when you pop out of the blue and start personally typing anything you want. And when I said no one, I meant no one UNTIL YOU TOLD US.

Don't you think all of us have histories that go back for years? This space isn't big enough for us to say everything about ourselves. And none of us are that important that the rest of us want to read all the dirty laundry. We aren't little juveniles who like to peep into vulgar corners or lurk and smirk at everything wrong with one another. We know we have bad stuff that goes with our good stuff. And we like our differences that make us agree and disagree. That's why we are a diverse community. If someone wants to share concerns, we will receive their candid snapshots because we know they are trying to help us understand why or how they feel about something. I don't like someone like you suddenly showing up trying to pile malice on someone just because you can't get your way "outside this venue" - as you put it. How lame and small-minded you must be.

You said, "This has nothing to do with the kids." Scary to think you're raising them without anyone else's influence to help soften your attitudes. You bring into your discussion an entirely different family with your own ex and biological children as if any of us could possibly sympathize with you placing anger and blame on Maggie for the same thing (it's called transference). People are not the same even if the behavior sometimes seems the same. And you cannot possibly know the heart of another person. That's why we look at others and their problems with different eyes. You might think what I have as a problem would be easy for you to handle and I might think something that you have would be easy. But the problem seems hard to us when we have it. Because God made us different and equipped us differently. So we also have different feelings and reactions. Some parents and grandparents never care a bit about absent children. Others mourn and ache endlessly. None of us can dictate those feelings. For you to even try shows us how shallow you are - yet again. For your sake, I'm asking you to stop doing this to yourself.

Have you tried leaning on God? He can heal anything. He'll take the anger out of the equation. Material things and past attitudes melt away. It's not about your opinions anymore. It's about the future - all those children. They have to develop spiritual, mental and emotional characters that can handle their futures and the unknown. You have to teach them tolerance and the ability to adapt and change. If you can't live it, how will you pass it on? That's why people commit suicide. They cannot and won't adapt. We don't know how the world will change but we know they have to live with others. None of this is easy. But God will show you.... all of you. The children have a right to be supported by everyone who loves them. They're going to need them.

 
Wbhatc
Comments: 3
Joined: 10/11/2007
10/11/2007 10:04:21 PM
Well sir, it's just the fact that we have tried outside this venue and it didn't work. So, where else but here. Sorry if it is too personal but what is one to do when the petty comments continue over and over again. A person can only take so much then they have to defend themselves. This has absolutely nothing to do with kids. It has to do with people posting things about others that are either untrue, half truths, or flat out lies and now we are here to comment anytime they happen again.
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 09:45:58 PM
Romegasir, thank you so much.

 
romegasir
Comments: 1608
Joined: 03/14/2007
10/11/2007 09:36:33 PM
wbhatc, are you saying that Maggie is the downfall of your stepchildren or her son? I'm confused on that point, because you are unclear. Your wife did make some petty and uncalled for comments on here......look at the post after your wife's post...it's mine saying "YIKES.....a bit TOO personal.

Surely that's a joke post."....then go back and read all 1000+ of my posts *(just kidding I dont' expect you to) and see that I'm about the most rude, terse person on here, and I always stick up for people's right to say what they think.....so for me to say "whoa, that's a bit too much" is a sign that you probably brought your fight to the wrong place and DEFINITELY in the wrong way. How about this? WHAT GOOD HAVE YOU DONE FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND/OR STEPCHILDREN BY POSTING THIS ABOUT THEIR GRANDMOTHER? Other than satisfying your need to "slam" maggie, tell me one way that your post has helped your children? I think we all know the answer, you haven't helped them at all. You have slammed their grandmother, and whether you're right or wrong, that doesn't help anyone EXCEPT your vanity.
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 09:08:59 PM
Blogeye and Blueskies, thank you also for your kind words and support. I know there is a scripture that says something about what is intended for evil, being turned around for good, (I am not always good at quoting scripture) and this is certainly the case here. I am humbled by the posts of my cyberfriends.
 
Wbhatc
Comments: 3
Joined: 10/11/2007
10/11/2007 09:08:50 PM
This comment was removed by a SoundOff moderator for violating blog policy.
 
blueskies
Comments: 2
Joined: 10/10/2007
10/11/2007 07:16:43 PM
Wow, so many issues. Maggie, I also read the post from yesterday. It was a hateful and vindictive post. I read back several posts and different topics. I never read a mention from you on a daughter-in-law problem. Just a few references to your grandchildren. Don't know them from Adam's house cat. They seem like innocent posts. Just concern for them. I would wonder about you if you weren't concerned about them. I'm always glad when someone prays for my children. I couldn't even read between the lines and see if you were aiming for this daughter-in-law but again still didn't. Only you and your family know the whole story. Often "new" husbands don't accept the "old" husbands kids and either are mean to them or try to make them their own. Cutting you out of the picture is one way to make that happen. And not being able to see them since February, now that's just wrong. Sitting back and taking this all in I see several red flags going up. Wonder if DFACS has looked at these posts? Isolating someone from family is a form of emotional abuse. Kids don't always see what the parents see, they just know that aren't allowed to see either their mother or father and it's the other parent preventing this bonding. This can't be good.

msla, you are my hero. You do what you think is right for your grandchildren. You are the one that is there on the scene. I would think they need stability and you seem like a great role model to me. At the end of the day we can only to what we think is best. If God is leading us then it will be the best.

 
bloggeye
Comments: 291
Joined: 08/18/2006
10/11/2007 06:18:26 PM
I read the post from wcom Maggie and realize why the post was removed. She gave way to much information. From all of your posts before most people would not know who you are. Those words did seem hurtful. When you responded to cowcow you were decent, humble, honest and human. All we can do through life is try to do what each of us thinks is right. Life has a way of taking strange turns and giving us many trials.

MSLA you are not alone with your struggle. I also have family members and friends in similar situations. I think you are not being too harsh. It sounds like you have been disappointed quite a few times. I don't understand how one can make certain choices concerning drugs and their children. For some addicts maybe they are past making choices. Atleast those girls will have a chance with you.
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 03:39:23 PM
CC, thank you. Your prayers are appreciated. Rome, I knew that I liked you!!!! Someday, when all this is over, I would like to tell you everything and maybe you won't doubt anymore.

 
romegasir
Comments: 1608
Joined: 03/14/2007
10/11/2007 03:30:49 PM
Just can't imagine anyone not liking Maggie. I have HUGE doubts about god and religions, and when I post those doubts, I usually get flamed massively (not that I mind haha)......but Maggie always answers respectfully, honestly and in what I would describe as a "christian" way.

maggie, when it comes to divorces, I know of some where the children only had the effect of losing full-time status with a parent but everything else went smoothly, but when I was on the job I answered calls weekly where a child was being used as a pawn, and it seemed to ALWAYS involve one of the parent's boyfriend/girlfriend. Either the custodial parent's new love would insist that the children should be kept from the other biological parent, or the custodial parent would find out that the other biological parent had a new love, so they would punish him/her by taking away the children. The courts, especially in the South, are completely unfair and unreasonable towards fathers. I'm sure everyone can cite an example where a father doesn't deserve to see his children, but the father walks into divorce court on the losing end.
 
cowcow
Comments: 2
Joined: 10/11/2007
10/11/2007 03:30:01 PM
Thats the Maggie we know !!! Thanks Maggie, yes you are human and It breaks my heart for you to be going through what you are. Everyone makes mistakes, some just chose to blame others and never learn. I will pray that God comes on the scene and turns this thing around for you and your family!!!!
CC
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 03:23:57 PM
Cowcow, you are right, that probably was a little spiteful, but I am only human. I do try to turn the other cheek, but sometimes, my emotions just get the best of me!!!! Also, I did as a parent teach my children the right things, but when children become adults they choose their own paths and sometimes they go down the wrong one. Sad thing is today, many parents don't even try to teach their children right from wrong. Lord knows my children aren't perfect, but they are not horrible either.

As for my testimony, I am a child of God, saved by grace, I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I make mistakes, just like every one else. Sometimes I let my pain control my actions, though I try not to let that happe. However, as I said I am only human and occasionally life just gets to be too much. Satan has been attacking my family from all sides for the last couple of years. We are walking through the "fire" and we will come out on the other side, but that doesn't make it easy. Someday, when this is all behind us, I may write a book, but most people probably won't believe that it is a true story.
 
cowcow
Comments: 2
Joined: 10/11/2007
10/11/2007 03:13:29 PM
Ok this is what I am getting from the post yesterday from "ex daughterinlaw) and today from wbhatc
it sounds like a very bad family issue. I have read this blog for some time and have always enjoyed maggies post. But if some of the things that was posted are true, then I think if I were Maggie , I would refrain from posting about how her children we brought up and leaving out that there were some issues such as stated. Also, just my opinion, I think it is very silly and not christian like to say"Does your employer know you are blogging on company time"? Maggie that makes you sound spiteful!!! Really unless you own the company they are working for, it is none of your business. So please don't allow all this bad stuff between your family to ruin your testimony Maggie. I say this in kindness!!! It is easy to get in the flesh and post unkind things, it is almost impossible to ever overcome . Just an opinion.
CowCow
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 03:01:46 PM
Grace, thank you for your kind words and as msla said you were not responsible for the attack on me and my family. We all have our opinions and don't always agree, but that is what this blog is for. I do try to be kind and considerate, but where my family is concerned, don't mess with me!!!LOL

Msla, I didn't know the extent of the horror you have had to live with, I am so sorry for you, but especially for the girls, how are they going to grow up without major emotional scars??? It breaks my heart for the things adults do to children.

Rome, you are so right it is sad at the number of grandparents raising grandchildren today. It has happened in my family and I know of many others. Just when life should be getting easier, you have to start all over again. However, like most grandparents, I would take my grandchildren in a heartbeat. Since so much of my life has already been plastered on here. I will tell you this much, there was not a problem between us and our former daughter-in-law, until she got involved with the man who is now her husband. In fact, we had a good relationship and we saw our grandchildren whenever we wanted and we have even helped her financially, when we had no obligation to do so. Although, we have always bought clothes, shoes, etc. for our grandchildren, even paying for medication when needed. There is much more I could say, but then I would be no better then she was in what she posted.

wbhatc, since you just joined today and based on what you posted, you are either wcom posting under another name or one of her friends. Again, I wonder, does your boss know you are blogging on company time???? Also, I have never personally attacked her, apparently she is paranoid. Furthermore, no one would have even remotely thought anything I posted in anyway referred to her, except for what she posted.
 
bygracethrufaith
Comments: 1272
Joined: 07/13/2007
10/11/2007 02:32:43 PM
I see. I kind-of got the jest of the situation, but as I said, not knowing the comments - and I really don't want to know them...well, I just hate that someone has come in on this forum for the sole purpose of attacking someone...especially Maggie- who seems to be so kind and considerate- even with those who she disagrees with.
I guess it's just that I knew the discussion was getting somewhat heated. And being a contributor to that worried me a little. Thanks for clearing it up.
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/11/2007 01:40:56 PM
Grace, Do not worry - you have no need to apologize. Whenever a person comes on this site with the specific intention of inflicting damage, well, that's out of policy bounds. You and I have been bantering our opinions back and forth drawing on our experiences and knowledge - a natural thing to do and exactly what people do on blogs. Another thing that Wcom exposed was enough personal information for someone (examples: like you, like me) to figure out who the people were that she was talking about. The geographic area combined with the information could be used to pin point folks who do not even blog here. Heck, some of them may not even own a computer. But a smart person could add enough of that information together and figure things out. Just for privacy issues alone, the post was extremely invasive.

I have posted information that anyone could easily add up and figure out my name. But I was the one who volunteered the information. Back when the man exposed himself to the grandgirls, it was in the newspaper and anyone could have figure out who that was just by connecting the RNT to my posts. Twinkie and I have both written letters to the editor that published our names. Some of my writings have been published. So, when a person gives out their information and other bloggers learn who they are, that's fine. But if someone comes on this site and starts throwing out information that can specifically divulge who we are (and we are not working in a public job of some sort), that's wrong, wrong, wrong.

 
romegasir
Comments: 1608
Joined: 03/14/2007
10/11/2007 01:05:26 PM
msla, good for you and your grandchildren......wish you could give some in my family lessons ;-)
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/11/2007 11:54:16 AM
Romegasir, How horrible to hear! I know it's true though. My grandgirls have it somewhat different because their mother is an addict and they've seen it. They talk blatantly about "drugs and Mom, if Mom is going to show up, and I don't believe Mom about this or that" - fill in whatever. Also, the court put these girls here permanently so I don't worry about custody issues. My daughter has never complied with DFACS in order to complete even one step to get them back. Now her case has been closed for a few years. Their father tortured and raped my daughter in front of the girls so the state will not allow him to get the girls when he exits prison. (Believe it or not, this is not because he was violent or anything. This is because he 'neglected their needs' and they could have choked, probably did need to be fed, and for the older one, she screamed her way through the torture of her mother - so the father is barred because of the way the children were treated while he was angry and violent.)

Living around here is sort of bizarre. I won't allow my daughter to live here even when she's straight and homeless. It breaks my heart but we've gone through things too much. The girls can't take it when she starts sliding again and they get left holding onto nothing but the wind. So I won't let my own child live here anymore no matter how bad things get for her and no matter how well she's doing. Sad, huh? But that's the consequences of the extreme bad drug behavior. I do let her visit, come here on Sundays after church - that sort of thing. There's no set times as long as she's straight. The second she's back on meth, she's banned again. No matter what. Birthdays and holidays go by without her. We've gone over a year without a visit from her - either because of her absence or because of my ban but both due to drugs.

People tell me I'm too harsh and mean. I tell them that until they have to "play clean-up" behind a drug addict with that addict's children, they don't know the heartache going on in those kids. And then if they have the same thing going on in their home but they do let the addict in and out like you were saying in your post, and they tell me how wrong I am, I simply point out that perhaps their situation is different. In ours, the girls tell me their feelings and they can't stand it. The oldest completely breaks down because she desperately wants her mother to straighten up and be sober forever. I can't even describe what happens to her every time her mother doesn't come through. The youngest has been with me almost all her life. She thinks of her mom more like a fun person for awhile but then she's ready to get back to 'normal.' And for her, normal is when Mom is not here. We've been in and out of counseling from trauma issues and family issues trying to learn to live and deal with all this. The girls and I don't have drugs to blind out our eyes and hearts.

Tragic agony everywhere....
 
bygracethrufaith
Comments: 1272
Joined: 07/13/2007
10/11/2007 11:45:34 AM
Wow Maggie,
I feel fortunate that I logged on too late to see the post that everyone is referring to. And as I have somewhat of an idea by reading everyone else's posts what the topic concerned, I don't need to be updated on anything that was written - therefore, I want to make it clear that in this post, I am NOT asking for any details/info concerning what has happened here. ---In saying that, and hoping that you understand I DID NOT read the post that everyone is referring to, I do want to let you know that if in ANY WAY any of the posts that I have made in opposition to your feelings on the article above have contributed in provoking whatever pain this person has tried to inflict upon you, then I am VERY SORRY. Since I did not see the words, I don't know if it did or not. I am very sorry for your situation, and have never seen anything from you in your posts other than concern and Christian love for others.
-And for the record: Maggie, msla, belle - I understand and respect where you are all coming from with your view on this story. And I apologize if I have said anything to disrespect you, I mean no hurt to anyone.
-Blessings.
 
Wbhatc
Comments: 3
Joined: 10/11/2007
10/11/2007 11:33:45 AM
I’d like one of the web administrators to show me how WCOM violated this specific blogs policy and Maggie did not. If you are referring to posting in third person then maybe I see the point (still petty). Another thing do the rest of you not comment about people’s personal life on here, and use names? If you say you don’t then you are bold face lying. Just because a person who has commented numerous times on here doesn’t mean that when they are called out you get to take your ball and go home. Life doesn’t work that way. If you comment about this lets not forget about some body here being challenged so they got mad about the others opinion and the rest of the story (s). If Maggie was not commenting about WCOM than who? Do you truly think that we are all ignorant? Why make such petty statements then? I don’t think that WCOM was attacking she was just voicing her opinion about what had been said of her and her children. WCOM didn’t get anymore personal than Maggie has in the past. WCOM just wasn’t afraid to use names. Who in their right mind would or could continue to sit and either read about or hear about the comments that are made about them and not comment. Maybe if WCOM would have written it in third person it would be different. Again very petty.
 
romegasir
Comments: 1608
Joined: 03/14/2007
10/11/2007 09:02:51 AM
Maggie, one of the big things that shocked me when I first began policing was the number of grandparents raising their grandchildren. I was a bit naive having left town after high school to join military...and then coming back and starting policing.....It astonished me that parents would walk away from their children because they knew "the family" would take care of them.......or the parents that CLAIM to be part of their child's life because they can go visit them at grandma's any time they want. This is now occurring in a part of my extended family.
It makes me sick to my stomach to see this father show up at Christmas or birthdays with a gift and two things occurring 1) The father smiling ear to ear thinking he actually did something good by showing up AND 2) the grandparent smiling ear to ear that their little Johnny is such a great father. The grandparents NEVER say anything harsh to the father, no tough love either because they actually believe Little Johnny could do no wrong (in fact, now that I think of it, I often hear them say "well, he's doing the best he can" OR because they're afraid that HE will actually become a father and they won't have custody anymore. The child, now young teen, hates his father (mother has long been out of the picture) and when he tells this to his grandparents, instead of talking with him about his feelings...they scold him and tell him that he should be proud that his father is doing all he can........I have to walk out of the room everytime this discussion begins.
These scumbag, uninvolved, always-have-an-excuse parents drain the family of its resources and the children of their childhood.
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/11/2007 08:46:40 AM
Thank you, Maggie
 
moderator
Comments: 11
Joined: 01/01/2006
10/11/2007 08:14:11 AM
Wcom's comment was removed and account terminated because his or her comment directly violated blog policy regarding personal attacks against other users.

www1.romenews-tribune.com/soundoff/policy
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/10/2007 05:27:45 PM
Msla, Mollie, thank you for your kind words and for your prayers. I love my grandchildren more then life itself and have not been allowed to see them since Feb. As for my son, he too loves his children and he has been out of work and sick since the first of August, which is why he is behind on his child support. He has not been working or playing softball, not sure where she gets her info. You are also right that my children made mistakes after they were over the age of 18. As with all parents, you can only teach them and hope they turn out all right, you can't live their lives for them. Again, thank you for your support.
 
mollieollie
Comments: 227
Joined: 04/13/2007
10/10/2007 05:02:59 PM
Wcom, I agree with Msla, this is no place to attack someone just because you are hurt at them, or their family. Sometimes we don't know what the other person is going through or thinking. If you feel you needed to say these things to Maggie, it would have been much better to set down and wrote her note that only she could have read. You have lost peoples respect by approaching it this way.
If all this made you feel better, than I'm sure Maggie is big enough to say, " glad it helped"!
Or that seems like the Maggie I have read about.

 
mollieollie
Comments: 227
Joined: 04/13/2007
10/10/2007 04:52:43 PM
Oh my!!!! Maggie and Wcom, it sounds like a lot of hurt for both of you. I have never seen such a time when so many familys are hurting. But it is important to see our own faults and try and correct them, rather than pointing our others. If it is true that this father does not pay child support, you should be able to get the child support office involved to get that resolved Wcom. However his mom can't help how he has turned out. I guess as parents we want to think our children have followed our teachings and are good parents, people when they grow up, but that don't always happen. I have learned to never say "my child want do that"! My kids were involved in church growing up and we thought they were perfect children, but we found out they were as human as we were. The were good kids, but I would never brag that they didn't do anything wrong, because I have learned they did lots of things I would not have approved of had I known. It is unfortunate that there is all this hurt between the two of you, W, sounds like you love your children, and Maggie sounds like you could be a good grandmother. I hope for these childrens sake, their dad will step up to the plate, do whats right and the two of you can come to some resolution to make peace for these childrens sake. All of you are in my prayers!
MO
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/10/2007 04:48:54 PM
Wcom, All anyone can do is teach their children the best they can. From your post, it seems like you are trying to teach yours the way you feel is right. When the child grows up and decides to make decisions that lead to negative consequences, any parent cannot control the situation. Just as this site topic deals with a teen with a young son, no parent can live the life for this young lady, Jessie. And even when the situation looks like it's the best possible - like this one - it is still only 'looks.' No one will know the end results until the people involved grow up.

For you, your children are not grown up so you have no idea what consequences they will face from their decisions. No matter what they do, you will agonize over them. You will love them. You will not understand them sometimes. You will not agree with them - and vice versa. And always you will pray and wish that they didn't have to be hurt by life.

But I will tell you point blank that your post dishonors your children. "Why," you might ask. Or, you can simply tell me who cares and it's none of my business. But since you brought it here, to this site, you made it everyone's business. Heck, you want us to know this business. So whether you like it or not and whether you understand it or not, Maggie has credibility here. She has been here for years praying with people, loving people, helping people and discussing things. And we (the people she has been interacting with) know that life is hard and not fair for any of us. And we know that life is not easy to deal with.

Since Maggie is obviously the grandparent of your children, how you treat her here in public speaks volumes about your character. How horrible it must be out of public. Maggie is not responsible for the actions or payments of any adult children of hers. The very fact that you viciously attacked her for no reason other than to make yourself feel good is incredulous.
**************

Maggie, I will pray extra hard for your situation. I had no idea this was what you were dealing with. I thought dealing with my rapist ex-son-in-law and his clan; my sometimes strung-out daughter; and raising my grandgirls was a bad situation. At least none of these are attacking me in public. We disagree at times. But you have my love with this mess!



 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/10/2007 04:01:02 PM
wcom, wasn't referring to you in any of my comments. By the way, does your employer know you are blogging on company time????
 
romegasir
Comments: 1608
Joined: 03/14/2007
10/10/2007 03:47:16 PM
YIKES.....a bit TOO personal.

Surely that's a joke post.
 
wcom
Comments: 1
Joined: 10/10/2007
10/10/2007 03:20:42 PM
This comment was removed by a SoundOff moderator for violating blog policy.
 
failedbelle
Comments: 393
Joined: 01/11/2006
10/09/2007 08:07:04 AM
msla your post brings back a lot of memories. I was a child when we couldn't wear pant suits to school but I remember how ridiculous it was in the winter. I was a young adult supporting my son when I went to buy a car. I had an income (beause I worked all the time) comparable to many men with large families to support and was spoken to like a child. I also remember "no subsidized anything" and child support just when they felt like it. I had forgotten how far we had really come since those times.

I also agree with your entire post about jessie. I think you hit the nail right on the head. It's just commonse sense to know that these children will look at this girl that has gotten so much attention and even had an article in the paper about her and think that being a parent is not so hard and won;t change your life that much.



 
DavidK
Comments: 15
Joined: 09/30/2007
10/09/2007 05:37:14 AM
Maggie you and I are of the same generation. I too was born in the 50's and I too fear the future for my grandchildren ( I only have one right now but have hopes for more). Everyday or societies morals drop lower and new dangers for our children emerge. Our youth was different than our parents as is our childrens different from ours.

msla i am not sure that I understand possiably what you mean by " conclusions about reading articles, they'd stop the presses" but many presses have stoped and papers or magazines have went out of business due to decline in sales. The shows we watch, the articals we read are produced because a large enough number of indviduals buy the papers or magazines or watch the shows. My not buying a paper or writting the editor in and of itself will not change what is written but if enough people withthe same views do the same it will. As for being Female no thank you I respect all that the Female gender goes through and I know yall look and talk about things that we men do not but I am thankful to be a male.

 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/08/2007 10:03:08 PM
David, If the media came to your conclusions about reading articles, they'd stop the presses. Since these sell, well, they keep on printing. This is one time I wish you were a female. Believe me. We talk about these things. As for your opinions on teens, education, and etc., I'm with you.

*********************

Grace, I asked your age in case I could direct my language in such a manner that would be easier for you to interpret. It had nothing to do with anything else. All groups have analogies, favorite examples, language usage, and etc. I felt that since we were not engaging too well, I'd try something else. I have lots of posts that are simple. I'm sorry if some of them are not easy for you. Being difficult is not my intention. In my defense, since I wasn't posting those directly to you, I wasn't worried about how you interpreted anything. In this case and at this topic site, I am. I do not want this gap between us to continue. It doesn't do either of us any good and just frustrates our communication with one another.

So let me clear up a few things. I'm not going to go into an English lesson here. It's demeaning. But no, the two words (premise and pretense) and meanings are not interchangeable and I didn't use them in that manner. And there are many many applications of the word 'agenda' besides my thinking you have something to gain by swaying me to think your way (or vice versa). I didn't respond to that thought because that's not the way I used the word. So, enough on discussing English. No wonder there are so many advantages to speaking a foreign language!! ha ha ha ha ha!!!

From our posts on all the sites, I think both of us have certain things in common. We care about people: we are passionate about teens in the case of this article; we try to better the world around us; we'd like positive news, behavior, attitudes, and on and on to run interference against the opposite things; and we believe in God. We differ on how we apply those beliefs, but we try to make a difference in our worlds. You wouldn't try so hard to be understood if you didn't want to try and change things.

Economically speaking, it is very simple. Jessie is doing absolutely nothing at all to support her son. It doesn't matter if everyone else runs over to her and hands her money, she does nothing to economically support him. Nobody has to know anything from the article about how she pays for anything or did pay for anything in the past such as the delivery. Because we all know from the article that Jessie does not work. Therefore, she does not pay for herself or her son. So let's take the argument that her support people all tell her, "Jessie, we don't want you to work. We'll pay for everything." That STILL tells us, the reading public, that Jessie, unlike the majority of anyone else in these circumstances, does NOT have to economically support herself or her son. This is rare. And this is one reason why this article is dangerous as to how it influences others. Because this is so rare, other teens will not see the rarity. Teens do not tend to look at the reality of things - only something like "it worked out for Jessie." You kept pointing out that in your discussion points that someone would actually have to know Jessie to know this point. That's not true. A person only has to know how many hours are in a day.

Quoted from your post on 10/03/2007 03:09:57 PM:

“You kind of have to play the cards you are dealt with in life,” she said. “Just because something happens doesn’t mean you have to change everything.”<<

I have THREE children, and while having them in my life has changed it tremendously, it has not changed me, it has ADDED to me. It has not changed my life goals, it has ADDED to them. It has not changed my lifestyle, it has ADDED to it. I am the same person as I was BEFORE, but now I have a more complete life with them in it.
**************
I quoted that because it does show a fundamental difference between you and I. It might help clear up why our angles slant against each other. For me, children did change me. I cannot begin to tell you how much I grew up. There's no measurement. My goals did change because I changed them to fit a life including children instead of without children. This is perhaps a generational thing - I don't know. But women back then worked, marched for changes, did not have subsidized anything, had real labor pains, couldn't collect child support or any divorce awards like the medical, fought when our children were stolen across state lines, couldn't get credit, fought to breakdown many, many barriers as simple as trying to wear pants in school to trying to get into a certain job. So we did do just about anything and everything for our husbands and our children without blinking. It wasn't anything sad. We just did it because we were proud of them. And as they grew, we took our 'turn' when and if we could. Perhaps that's some of the reasons you and I have shades of gray that keep our thinking apart. My children weren't so much an addition to my life and what I wanted - they were more like an extension of my breathing and are still part of my soul.

I grew up in the generation squeezed between doing everything the way we were told to do things and those who rebelled and questioned things. In high school I lived in PA. My junior year, over 30 girls, including me, were thrown out of school and sent home for wearing doubleknit pant suits. These were very nice types of clothes. But we'd had it with the dress code in snow. We had to wear dresses except when we changed for PE. The dress code did change but not until after I was out of school. Our parents couldn't believe we did that - it was a big sneak. And we had race riots where we all sat in hallways all day long for days and fights and burnings happened. And everyone tried to be a hippy. My teen years glare at me for lots of reasons you don't know about. And women my age then progressed through what had no definition except to free others from being defined as we were when we grew up.

So I do not judge Jessie's character in any of my posts. Re-read them and you'll be able to tell that. But being a mother is not a juvenile thing to do. If she 'chooses' to be a mother, it's time to grow up. THAT is the choice. Her son is now the child. Your arguments that Jessie is just a teen herself; that she is so young and 'needs' a break; that her education and softball shouldn't be interrupted by the cries of her son; and anything like those arguments are all bunk. This is where you vacillate - go back and forth. On the one hand, you want her to claim to be a mother and get the credit and glory for being a mother. BUT, then she needs a break and has to play softball on top of being gone all day at school and studying to be an honor student (and believe me, here I am giving her a lot of freedom.... she may not get the grades from studying.... she may get the grades because being a senior is sometimes a waste of time - it might be her courses, or course track, or they aren't that hard anyway because she is an athlete - all sorts of reasons here.... but I'll give this area to her and take the time away from her but that gives her less time to be with her son). Please understand, don't change the subject into her options - that just detracts. Once Jessie made her choice, she is held accountable to live her choice. That is the standard - the bottom line. It no longer matters what she wants in comparison to what her son wants or needs. All the people in the world can take care of him. And do you know what you end up with? A son without his mother. And that's perfectly fine. As long as Jessie knows, absolutely knows that she is not the one taking care of him. Because HE knows she's not there. And that brings us to the point that other teens will not realize: they will not be the one cuddling and cooing their baby. Somebody else will be doing that. Because either the teen herself or himself will not have the staying and giving ability or they won't have the power. And that's why I didn't like it when Jessie's age was used as an excuse NOT to be a mother whenever she wanted but on the other hand she was to be congratulated that she chose to be a 'mother.' An article doesn't have to say much of anything for a person to add up the hours in a day.

I go back to my original belief: The real story is that Jessie has a terrific support system.

Now there are other areas about your actual posts I alluded to earlier but I don't see the point in going into any of that since I hope we've crossed over a bridge and can understand one another now. If not, please email me at msla30172@hotmail and I'll try to talk differently. I am trying. I know you are as well. Thank you.

 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/08/2007 06:51:17 PM
David, I too think we agree and as you said, just express it differently. I too miss the "dark ages". My kids used to tell me I was living in the 50's. Well, I was born in the 50's, but I was a teenager in the 70's and even though I didn't face quite as much as they did, it was certainly different from my parents generation. What really worries me now, is what it is going to be like for my grandchildren and my oldest is 11, so those days aren't far away.
 
DavidK
Comments: 15
Joined: 09/30/2007
10/08/2007 03:41:34 PM
Maggie I have three kids myself and follwed the same steps as you. mine also were influnced by their friends and thank God mine all graduated without being parents. But the influence came from our kids friends not an artical in the paper. It sounds like we actually agree on this subject we just express it differently. Oh by the way old fashioned is a bad thing I never thought I'd make this statement but I miss the way it was back in our dark ages.

Mollie
You are correct it does sound like she has great parents and a great support system that other girls do not have. I wish there was a way to supply more girls with that kind of support system perferrably before they become a unwed mother. Maybe if we could reach the girls without good support systems we could cut down on these young girls who end up making their lives harder than they need to be.

May I also say I enjoy the conversations and respect everyones views even when they don't coinside with mine. Differences in how we look at thing is what makes us a balanced society. Thank you all.
 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/08/2007 12:30:34 PM
David, I couldn't agree with you more about the influence of TV, movies, etc. on our young people, but as a mother of four grown children, I can also tell you that the attitude of kids in school about teenage pregnancy also influences them. I taught my kids that premarital sex and having children out of wedlock (sounds so old fashioned, doesn't it LOL) was wrong. They were also taught this at Church. In fact, when my daughter was in middle school, we had wonderful evangelist at our Church during youth week and he told the girls that when their friends began to pressure them, to tell them "I can easily become what you are, but you can never again be what I am". This stuck with her and she preached it to all her friends at school. However, when she went to high school, many of her friends became sexually active and some of them had babies and her attitude began to change. She saw girls who continued in school, continued in their activities, had day care provided for them, went to the prom, etc. There are also parents out there who become enablers, by taking over raising the baby and the "mother" continues on with her life, with very little consequences. She began to tell us that we lived in the dark ages. It is hard to combat what other kids are doing, when it is so accepted. Thankfully, all my kids did graduate high school without becoming parents!!!!

 
mollieollie
Comments: 227
Joined: 04/13/2007
10/08/2007 12:21:09 PM
Hello, I have been reading the comments on the article. What I get from the article is that this girl is blessed to have her support system, she makes good grades and plays ball. I commend her on the good grades and continuing to play for the sake of the team. But the most important part of this is the love the parents and family have for this girl to allow her to continue her life without any interruption in her education and her love for ball. You know she could not do it alone. There are so many girls that are not that fortunate!!! I thank God for Good Parents, and good kids as well. She could have dropped out of school and left the parents to tend to the baby and started running around doing drugs, drinking and not amounted to anything. Sounds like she wants a better life for her and the baby. But again , I pray she is thankful for her family. Most parents would do the same, but there are some that wouldn't, or financially couldn't. She is a blessed teeanager!!!!! That is the big story!!!!
Mollie
 
DavidK
Comments: 15
Joined: 09/30/2007
10/08/2007 11:16:04 AM
I agree that there are teenagers that glance through the sports page and there are even a few that actually read the paper on a regular basis, I also agree that there are other stories out there that diserve to be written about teens that are a shining examples and should be held up as role models. I have said this before. But also as I have said before those stories apparently do not rake in the high paper sales. I write into my local paper and continually ask them to do more articals on the youth in our community that are working to do the right things and I suggest that everyone else do the same. The papers report on things that sells pappers and we control this by our buying the papers and writting the editor asking for coverage of what we want to read about. If paper sales drop or enough people write requesting a specific type of articals the papers will begin to cover it. But I do not believe this one artical is going to increase the teenage pregnancy problem, I do belive that as more and more TV shows continue to glamorise sex the moral fibers of our youth will errode even futher and that will continue to feed the rise in the teenage pregnancy rate. I probaly would not have written the story but I can not see that it being written will really change the lives of our teens.

 
bygracethrufaith
Comments: 1272
Joined: 07/13/2007
10/08/2007 11:00:36 AM
Premise- a: a proposition antecedently supposed or proved as a basis of argument or inference; specifically : either of the first two propositions of a syllogism from which the conclusion is drawn b: something assumed or taken for granted

Pretense- a: a claim made or implied; especially b: one not supported by fact c: a pretentious act or assertion d: an inadequate or insincere attempt to attain a certain condition or quality


msla - sorry to have mixed your words, however logic will tell you that false "premises" can quickly become false "pretenses." Therefore if I am using a false premise, it is likely that a false pretense is not too far behind. I said in the last post, I do not understand all of your wording. That is the problem. If we were speaking face to face, I'd probably still ask you to explain that again. My age has nothing to do with it. I'd rather not give it, other than say, I am middle aged, old enough to have two teen children, but not quite old enough to have grand kids - ideally, that should not happen for a few more years. But as I said, age has nothing to do with my understanding your posts. I will say that I have read other posts of yours in the past, and do, from time to time, find them hard to understand as well. You are probably a very intelligent person (I hope that is the case). But I'd say, for the most part (and this IS just my opinion) folks on a message board would rather see articles posted that do speak more of the persons opinion, rather than sounding like someone who is over everyone's head.
Please remember, that when you tell people to "educate themselves" then follow that up with "false premises" "agenda," - which I have looked at your chosen use of the word, and you say that you (msla) are not the one vacilitating back and forth over an imaginary line trying to make points for whatever fits my agenda. I will ask again, exactly what is my agenda? I do not see a difference in meaning by the way that you have used it. If I feel the need to make points that waver so much, what am I trying to accomplish by doing so? It seems that you are doing to me the same that you are accusing me of. You insert that I have an agenda. You also accuse me of reading into what others say, when the words that I am going by are right there typed by that other person. You accuse me of trying to assume I know what others are thinking - when you are accuse me of reading into what you are typing to make it say "what I want it to say." -Do you even realize that by using that one statement alone - you assume to know what I am thinking by implication? What makes you think that I "want" you to say something other than your own opinion?
I read your post over and over again - your scenarios are one thing, but it would be a good idea to use any statements that I have made as an example of what you are accusing me of, if you want to point my attention to it. Post a scenario, but don't leave it without an instance of relation to my statements, then accuse me of having false pretenses. I don't see where I've done that...and as I said in the previous post (the one that you'd like to skip) show me where I'm wrong and I'll apologize IF I'm truly wrong. But you have yet to show me. Just more accusations of what I'm assumedly trying to do here.
msla, it's really just converstation, that's all. And many times when I ask questions, it's not because I don't know the answer - it's usually because I want people to question themselves instead of going on what another person says, and sometimes it's good to question yourself as to why you believe something so strongly. I don't "want" everyone to have my opinion. My opinion does not define what is right. My preferences are not standards for others to live by, and I have never implied so. But the problem with your post below - more than just seeing words that most people that I know do not use on a regular basis - is, and this is NOT a personal attack, your phrasing comes of a bit arrogant at times, and perhaps mine does as well. But as I said before, Belle & I worked that out (I thought) therfore, I cannot figure out why you'd like to keep it going. If you wish to argue with me, sorry, you chose the wrong person. I'm not here for that. We obviously have opposing views. So what. Life goes on. And just so you know, my comment about being educated by you was actually a complement to you...hope you weren't reading into MY words. And the thing about the long posts - it was nice to see that I'm not the only one that does that- therefore that was not to be taken as an insult either - hope you didn't.
Now - to the article, which is a much better subject to post about than ME: As I have stated before, I do not disagree with most folks points here. However, the simple fact that I don't believe that this article is a bad thing, I fear, has seemed to lead others to believe (including you) that I am standing for some things that I am absolutely not for. You tell me to go to the library and educate myself on teen reality, when I have some "teen reality" in my home, and see it in several different venues on a regular basis. You tell me to check with DFACS to read of the cases of teen pregnancy and the dependancy on the state to care for it. -I've never disputed that fact - only stated that assuming that Jessie or any other person is utilizing that assistance without proof that she is, is unfair, and by doing so, it places them in a stereotypical situation that will earn her comments and negative thoughts that she perhaps does not deserve. And for the record - I have read back over my posts to find out where I said that teens have it "so bad" as you call it. I cannot find where I stated anything other than the fact that in many cases (as you have demonstrated by saying that many of these children do not have support systems) adults seem to tune out thier teen children because they do not seem to understand each other. This does lead to a lack of communication, which can lead to the problem of premarital sex and other rebellious acts as well. Not saying that all children will behave as we wish if we have good relationships with them, but the fact is, if we keep believing the worst of them...well, that will solve absolutely nothing. I never said that "teens have it so bad." That is your observation of what I am thinking. I think they have it better than I did - but they also have alot more temptations of different sorts in front of them than I did. And if we continue to condemn them for every single decision that we find flawed...the communication problem continues and worsens. For some reason though, there is a feeling -from many of the ones that oppose my view- that teenagers have it too easy. That statement seems to have been fueled by the fact that this girl and her mother/support system made the decision that she should be able to play softball for a couple of weeks to end the season- with her mother/support system calling her a "dedicated and confident mother." And because there are so many that disagree with this decision, there have been many assumptions/accusations made concerning THIS young girl - of which there is simply no proof of. Now, in my opinion, I think she did a good thing in making the decision to keep her baby. And if other teens who get themselves into that situation see that she still has dreams of her own - only now they include her child...then perhaps if and when they find themselves pregnant, they won't choose to end the child's life just because it would impose on their future plans. I have come to this girl's defense because I do believe that there have been statements made toward her that her particular situation may not deserve. I make points of the other side of the coin in hopes that others will see that there is not just one way to look at this article, that, again, has alot of information left out, IMO. Especially for the observations that have been made. I have stated over and over that I do not know this girl - I have not made assumptions concerning her that would lead to a false premise. I have offered a different view. Stereotypes exist because society creates them. We tend to want to place individuals in categorical groups that we like to give labels to, therefore causing that person to no longer be an individual in our minds. When we assume that Jessie is in one of these groups- she is no longer an individual to us, and we begin to assume the worst of her because of what we know/have heard of others in similar situations. That, to me, seems to be a false premise. I hope you understand what I'm saying. I do not wish to continue arguing with what you think that I think that someone else thinks - especially since I believe that person and I have made it clear that there's no problem between us personally. I, personally, enjoy Rome's sarcastic approach to conversations...perhaps he's got something there. LOL.
As for the other articles that you mentioned that you ask if I had ever read...if you will read what I have stated before- I HAVE read many of them. That was my point. It was in response to statements implying that there should be more articles about kids who do well that do not also have babies...my point was, I HAVE read many of those. If you will re-read my post below concerning Valedictorians (sp?) and high school athletes perhaps you will see that.
The word "glamourization" has been used over and over in discription of this article. And the fact is, when you see stories over and over again on the news, of girls/women of Hollywood making terrible decisions repeatedly, it kind of puts things in perspective when you think of the word "glamourization." News Channels can't get enough of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richey, Anna Nicole, etc. These are who the media has put in front of our teens. After all that crap, it's nice to see a young girl who looks as if she's trying to do a good thing.
That's my point. That's my statement. No waivering. No line criss-crossing.


 
maggie
Comments: 1542
Joined: 01/08/2006
10/08/2007 07:15:04 AM
David, you might be right, but then again you might be wrong. If her friends knew there was going to be an article about her, then they probably read it and told others about it. Kids do read the sports page, especially if they are involved in sports, hoping to see their name in the paper. You know, years ago, when my first child was born, I was back to riding and showing horses, three weeks after he was born, no one wrote an aritcle about me, guess it was because I wasn't an unwed teenage mother. I even know of kids who are currently homeless, due to no fault of theirs and they continue to go to school. No one writes about them either and they are the ones who should be applauded for continuing with their education, when all the cards are stacked against them.
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/08/2007 05:46:04 AM
DavidK, I agree. But that still doesn't take any influence away from the article. It would be nice if there had been something to encourage other teens to go down a path that keeps them from having children and dealing with the things pertaining to teen parenthood. Instead, any of that influence was absent. That's my objection. So if the article influences even one single teen to cross a line and think parenthood, school and sports (or any other activity) combined would continue on as if there was minimum change is a tragic disservice.

People sometimes say variations of things like, "I'll do this _______ [blank] if I can help just one single person." Or, "I'll give this speech if I can help just one single person." For positive or negative and for whatever the reason, you fill in the blank in the first statement. That one single person is who my discussion is all about.

 
DavidK
Comments: 15
Joined: 09/30/2007
10/07/2007 09:11:12 PM
You may be correct but if teachers are pointing this artical out then it is likely that they would have held her up as an example with or without the artical. As for the friends they have been talking about her since they found out she was pregnant so that vain of information has been spreading long before the artical. So let me state what I see as the obvious. The artical only spread this to areas that do not know Jessie and unless an adult who read the paper had the teens they are associated with read it teens outside of Jessies school will not have read it. I would wager that if you went to Rome, Ringgold or Dalton etc... and stoped high school teens and asked what they knew about this artical the majority of them would say they knew nothing about it. So fears that it will sway more teenagers to be irresponciable and have premartial sex duue to the artical is not accurate. The lack of parents rasing their kids with good morals, talking to them about having sex and what the hardships could be and limiting the oppertunity for them to have sex would do great wonders. As for the idea of having premartial sex that is already in the teenagers minds, they think they are in love, they think this is the only way to prove their love and they think due to adult shows on TV like Sex in the CityDisperate housewifes etc... that it is a mature adult thing to do. Want to stop stories like these clean up our TV shows, talk to our kids and do not give them the oppertunity to have sex, trat them like kids and chaperone their activities.
 
msla
Comments: 570
Joined: 12/29/2005
10/07/2007 07:46:37 PM
DavidK, Let me state the obvious:
Whenever anyone is in the newspaper, all the people they're associated with will be interested in the article; Jessie probably has the school teachers pointing out the article - maybe even putting it on a bulletin board, congratulating her which brings attention; Jessie's friends will read and talk about the piece as well as widen their response to include all sorts of additional discussion points; the circle will widen as one person points things out or simply points out that they 'know' Jessie; and I could continue down these roads that split off from each other until a network is running in many directions but surely you get the point. No one, of any particular age, has to read an article to be made aware of it and its' content as the boomerang effect continues.

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